Bikes and Flags

The following lead is from a news story in the Boulder Daily Camera:

Mike Newlands of south Boulder tries to ride his bike to work at least twice a week. But twice a year on Bike to Work Day, he gets a little special enjoyment out of seeing so many people riding alongside him.

This lead is not especially effective. While its use of a specific person seems to be effective, as it provides relevance and tangibility for the reader, too much information is revealed and the incentive to continue reading the story is lost. This occurs in the second sentence, which reveals that the story will be one about Bike to Work Day. If the reader has no interest in Bike to Work Day, then he or she will not read on. Additionally, even if it were essential that the lead contain the information about Bike to Work Day, it fails to answer an essential question: why should the reader care about Bike to Work Day? The last sentence leads on into the story a bit more effectively, perhaps if the reader is curious about how many of their friends and neighbors participate in Bike to Work Day. I however, did not read on.

The following lead is from a news story from the Associated Press:

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) -- The Confederate battle flag was still flying high atop a 30-foot pole outside the South Carolina Statehouse on Wednesday as lawmakers prepared to honor their beloved black colleague with a viewing in the Rotunda.

But elsewhere around the nation, leaders were already demoting the historic but divisive symbol. By the order of Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley on Wednesday, four Confederate flags displayed for two decades around a large monument to secessionist soldiers outside that state's capitol were being were being taken down.

This is a better version of a lead. Immediately, conflict and tension is presented. The reader is given an image of a confederate flag flying, and another one of it being torn down, symbolizing the different responses by the leadership governing the two separate locations. Details such as the height provide vivid imagery, while vague statements like “their beloved black colleague” leave more details to be filled in. The reader is given an incentive with this lead to read on to understand the fundamental differences between the two leaderships. In fact, the focus on the leadership (“lawmakers”) in the two contrasting paragraphs provides an immediate focus for an article attempting to tackle a broad topic.  Between the description of the ‘historic but divisive’ and ‘secessionist soldiers’ the reader is given enough context for the historical significance to which the article is referring, without being given an entire history lesson. If done purely chronologically, a brief history of the civil war would come first, not only removing incentive for readers to continue but perhaps even deterring them.