Enticing shorts

By Cristin Nelson

As a food writer, I really saw a use for Roy Peter Clark's chapters on "how to write short."  Almost all recipes in publication have a headnote, which is a short paragraph (usually two to five sentences) about the recipe.  The headnote might include why the author thinks the recipe is special, a story about where the author first had the dish, special notes about the ingredients or the method, the history or typical manner of serving, a combination of the above, or something else entirely.

Unless there are some specific special instructions needed for the dish, the function of a headnote is to entice the reader to make the dish (this is especially true if there is no photo accompanying the recipe).  The headnote has only a few words, really, to introduce the dish and grab the reader's attention.  Words must be carefully selected for their imagery and economy.  Although authors should use headnotes as an extension of their writing style, there is really no room for the wordy and extraneous phrases mentioned in class today.

Writing headnotes could be good practice for writing short because it is difficult to lose focus or swing too wide of your topic when there are no larger issues involved--when you have a simple topic, you would only need to focus on word choice and conciseness.

I found a few examples of headnotes today.  These are interesting examples because in a couple of them, the vivid description in the first half are so enticing (I can almost taste the native fresh corn, coconut milk, lime, and fresh basil, for example).  But, these headnotes don't really seal the deal-- some language is clunky and doesn't read easily, and so the notes lose some of the magic of imagery as I spend another couple of seconds trying to decipher their meaning.

Data Journalism

I read the Washington Post article about police shootings of the mentally ill from our suggested reading over the weekend.

The article did a phenomenal job of using the data collected to reveal an otherwise little known issue in our country. Much of the data available is provided by the government, so I commend the Post staff for taking the initiative to begin collecting their own data when the what the government provided was not sufficient. As journalists, it is important that we use the resources at our disposable to compile such information, and make it available to the public.

Secondly, I like that the article combines the data with stories. The stories bring important context to the numbers and highlight what is really going on. It is important for those reading this article to understand why the police feel that they must shoot those having a mental crisis (lack of training and misunderstanding), otherwise the story would have been one-sided. I think that including both stories from the victims families, as well as input from police management was a great addition.

One thing that I think is missing from this article is a comparison to how things are done in other nations. Mental illness is extremely misunderstood in the U.S., and we are not ranked especially well for our treatment of those with mental disabilities. Pointing this out could have shed even more light on the problem of treating mental illness in the U.S. and why the mentally ill end up with such high fatalities, especially from use of force by police.  

Assumptions in reporting

By Cristin Nelson

Over the weekend, I caught up on the rest of the ethics readings that I hadn't had a chance to finish earlier.  The story that most interested me was that of Jonah Lehrer, who fabricated quotes, plagiarized his own works, and rearranged facts.

This blog post by Seth Mnookin, linked to in one of the assigned articles, compared some side-by-side examples of Lehrer's original source material with his final product.  The examples are enlightening--as I read them, I was thinking that a lot of writers probably write this way.  Lehrer inserts small dramatic touches into the source material, and writes assumptions that cannot be proven.

For example, Lehrer recreates a scene (originally from Leon Festinger's When Prophecy Fails) in which a group of cultists are waiting for the rapture, which is supposed to arrive at midnight.  When midnight passes without incident, Lehrer writes, "the cultists began to worry.  A few began to cry."  The weeping is perhaps the most obvious addition--this didn't happen in the original material.

But the cultists' worry is also problematic.  The source material specifically states that as the time for the rapture passed, the cultists sat frozen, motionless, without expression.  This worry, then, is invented and assumed by Lehrer.  It is plausible that the cultists did begin to worry, but it is perhaps equally possible that they did not.  (In fact, it could be a more interesting story if they didn't!)  No one should assume that they know the inner thoughts or feelings of a person under stress, particularly a person who subscribes to an unfamiliar, fringe belief system.  It may also show Lehrer's hand by revealing his beliefs of what constitutes normalcy, making me question his objectivity.

I feel as though I have seen this type of writing online (and am probably even guilty of it myself), because I can see how it would be easy to do.  Societal norms are so strongly ingrained in many of us that I would probably also have assumed some sense of worry on the part of the cultists, given that it is probably "normal" to worry in a scenario where you expected some huge event that didn't take place.  It was a good, specific example of how "assuming facts not in evidence," even a small detail, is a dangerous insertion of yourself into the story.

Questions on Bias Raised by the New York Times

One article that caught my attention this weekend focused on the emergence of weight-loss clinics as healthcare laws have changed to require insurance companies to cover obesity screenings and treatment. This topic is pretty closely related to the one I am pursuing for my final project, so it was very informative to see how the opposing sides were written about and the weight they were given.

While reading the article I had a hard time not feeling biased - in part due to my own knowledge and beliefs, but also I think in part because of how the information was presented. Partially, the article spent time explaining what these new weight-loss clinics do: their methodologies, philosophies, patient stories and doctor explanations.

However the article was really about the financial gains that these clinics can make under the new insurance laws, and how this creates a conflict of interest. This combination of information left me skeptical of the weight-loss clinicians who were interviewed for the article, which perhaps it should have. Maybe none of these doctors really believe they are helping their patients and their responses are always as convoluted as they sound in the article. Maybe the answers I wanted to read just didn't fit in the allotted space.

While the weight-loss clinicians explained their methods, none of them directly addressed the fact that these techniques are not scientifically proven, there is a very low success rate, and medical doctors repeatedly warn (even within the article) that extreme restrictive dieting actually results in weight gain more often than loss. The author seemed to rely on other doctors who were clearly opposed to these clinics to introduce and back-up this information, which is good, but why did the reader never get an opportunity to hear back from the clinicians? Again, maybe their answers were simply not substantive, but that actually seems important to reveal as well.

The article closes with a quote by the patient who introduced the issue in the lede, about how she is okay with paying a large chunk of the treatment cost out of pocket because she doesn't quite meet the required weight for "obese". This raised a whole other set of questions for me about if she knew how unproven the methods are, why nutrition counseling didn't work, if she was ever treated for depression (she mentioned feeling depressed at the beginning of the article), etc. I felt that the article  sided with the anti-weight-loss-clinic mentality, but also didn't give voice to anyone who saw obesity as more than a weight problem. I thought the psychological aspects of the issue were essentially ignored, which could simply be a reflection of the medical approach, but I wonder if that really warrants the reporter not seeking it out.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/05/business/in-health-law-a-boon-for-diet-clinics.html?smid=nytcore-iphone-share&smprod=nytcore-iphone


From an entirely different section, I came across this article that takes a very different approach to co-authoring than the examples we have seen in class: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/05/movies/heroines-triumph-at-box-office-but-has-anything-changed-in-hollywood.html?smid=nytcore-iphone-share&smprod=nytcore-iphone&_r=0

I assume this article was organized this way because the authors are fairly well known reviewers, so each of their individual voices are important to the reader. It was effective, in my opinion, to hear a male and a female voice on this topic, and especially to hear where they agree and depart from each other's perspectives.

Brevity is a Virtue

“I do.”

“Come home. She’s gone.”

“So help me God.”

These brief passages served as micronarratives—snapshots—of some of the most profound moments in my life. Without knowing me, a reader could likely surmise the gist of the events behind these words: my wedding, a death in the family and my oath of office.

“Express your most powerful thought in the shortest sentence,” Roy Peter Clark said in his article “The Short Sentence as Gospel Truth.”

This advice validates something that I had intuitively accepted as true: brevity is a virtue. I agree that short sentences can conjure imagery as powerful as a photograph. Clark outlined instances that offer proof of concept. For example, placing “[h]is was 00001” in a paragraph’s last sentence recasts the idea of Herman the chimpanzee’s longevity at his zoo.

I think that something even shorter—like a name or a single word—can create a reader reaction as intense as Jeremy’s lede example. Harkening back to a lesson from Professor Nagy’s Ancient Greek Heroes course (I highly recommend it), a name or a single word can serve as a signpost pointing to something larger.

Here’s an example:

Jar Jar Binks.

For Star Wars fans, this name likely evoked a visceral reaction. For me, it summed up all that was wrong with the Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace—a forced Campbellian trope, ill-conceived comic relief and annoying protagonists.

In his 1999 review of the film, Director and Massachusetts native Eli Roth expressed his most powerful thought in the shortest sentence when he said, “It sucks.”

Quotes and Subject Matter in the Washington Post

I came across an interesting quote situation while reading Justin Moyer's article on Bo Dukes response to the removal of "The Dukes of Hazard" from TV Land. Moyer quotes a fellow cast member's Facebook post, which was written in all caps. He quotes the post verbatim, in all caps, noting that is how it originally appeared within the text of the article. I agree with this decision, as the decision to type in all caps communicates a certain tone that the speaker (writer?) likely intended. However I wonder if this is too much of an assumption to make - how would a reader know if this is someone who always types in all caps or if this was specific emphasis made for this particular post on this topic? I would guess it is the journalists responsibility to contact the person who posted the statement in question and give them the opportunity to speak for themselves, but this does not seem like the logistically realistic option, especially for breaking news stories. 

On an entirely different note, I have been surprised by some of the articles various news sources are releasing about the Supreme Court ruling for same-sex marriage. For example, in today's Washington Post, there is an opinion piece that questions the use of gay pride symbolism by non-gay individuals who support the decision, but perhaps did not involve themselves in the struggle for rights as deeply as those who the issue directly effected. Last week the New York Times ran an article describing the loss of an oppressed identity that is confusing and saddening to several gay individuals. These stories both struck me as not entirely news-worthy and odd choices of perspectives to focus on in an incredibly positive moment.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/07/02/bo-duke-tweets-photo-of-dylann-roof-in-protest-after-tv-land-dumps-dukes-of-hazzard/?tid=pm_pop_b

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/07/02/why-you-should-stop-waving-the-rainbow-flag-on-facebook/?tid=pm_pop_b

Coping While Black: A Season of Traumatic News Takes A Psychological Toll

I read an amazing article this morning on NPR.ORG today, regarding racism and how it can have a psychological effect on Black-Americans.

Although I think stress and psychological trauma stemming from racial incidents amongst the black community is subjective, I definitely can see how it can have a traumatic effect on people.

I can only imagine what it’s like for African-Americans who have dealt with racial incidents in the past, or have to deal with racial attacks everyday while witnessing what is happening in society right now.

I have never dealt with racially charged attacks turning violent. However, I have dealt with ignorant remarks being made towards me, in relation to my ethnicity. It is not a good feeling. I can only imagine what it's like for other people who have dealt with consistent racial prejudice's throughout their lives.

I handle it a little differently. I’ve never cried, felt like not going to school, decided to be absent from work, or became depressed because of racial attacks or judgmental behavior. When it comes to personality, I have a very strong exterior. I usually look at people like they are stupid (Because they are). However, it still hurts inside but I usually get over it within minutes.

I am the type of person who doesn't want other people to see me sweat, but I am still human.

http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2015/07/02/419462959/coping-while-black-a-season-of-traumatic-news-takes-a-psychological-toll